Gratitude for my life as it is

We were standing in front of our house talking after it had become dark enough for even the faintest light to shine brightly. Nothing serious, just about running and getting in those kilometres on the app. They were explaining to me since I’m not a runner and then we talked about the safety of the places to run after dark or alone. One had seen a young bear, another felt a certain area was spooky and best avoided. Then, suddenly, all our phones sounded an alarm and we waited. When it began, the ground beneath my feet danced and swayed to an unheard rhythm. Someone, some distance away, screamed in fright I guess. It was not a lot of shaking but it felt weird to be outside and standing. I checked for anything nearby or above that might come falling down. All clear. Finished. Gratitude expressed.

In for the night, I began to think of yesterday when I had wanted to write my thoughts. They weren’t as fresh now but I could still try if this tiredness I feel allows. It didn’t, so now on this bright morning, while the occasional sounds of people moving about drift my way on a lazy breeze, I stop to write those thoughts. I’m reminded that I should write more regularly but some days I only say my thoughts the way I would write them then never take the time to actually put them down. But, gratitude for my thoughts. I’m blessed to have them.

My short trip to town completed I began the drive towards home. As I left the lights behind, the number of vehicles decreased. Few had their lights on as it was still light enough to still see without them. Mere minutes after leaving the town the beautiful verdant rice fields greeted me. There, hanging just above the plants was a light mist, barely visible in the evening light. Up above, the clouds danced in fading orange and grey delight across the sky painted in different shades of blue. Distractingly beautiful.

There are very few cars coming my way and my eyes are alert for any pedestrians out at this hour. The fields are empty. Farmers are already home likely gathered around the dinner table or preparing for it. I drive on up the winding mountain road trees on either side crowding in and blocking out some of the fading light. My own lights are on now and I let my thoughts flow. I see the lights of a house on the right partially hidden behind some trees. A feeling envelopes me as I drive pass. Immediately as I’m passing I feel an invitation that says one word: home. It leaves me and my thoughts turn to prayer.

I pray because in this minute I know that one day I’ll leave behind this mountain dotted with rice fields and flowers and the occasional animal scurrying across the road. I’ll leave the peace and quiet, spring rains and flowers, noisy cicadas, summer greenery, and this life in general. (It’s my first summer on this part of the mountain so autumn and winter are as yet unknown but having lived in the mountains before, I can imagine what I’m in for on top of one.) I’ve often said this is not my forever home and I know there is an actual expiration date but I prayed this moment and these experiences would stay with me; that I’d live them well and appreciate all I had been given.

I don’t know what waits for me in the future I cannot yet see clearly with my mind’s eyes but for today I want to live, do my best and express gratitude for everything especially my life as it is now.