Dear Parents

Dear Parents, hello!

How are you doing? Let’s talk for a minute. I know many of you are doing the best that you can and even shake your head at those parents who have shown time and again that they are too irresponsible to be parenting. Allow me to ask you this: what kind of parent are you? No, don’t answer as yet or think I’m being rude. I do have a point. Hear me out, please.

I’ve seen and heard of parents who talk about strict upbringing where their own parents/guardians were poor and how difficult life was for them. Usually, these parents themselves end up parenting on one side of the extreme. By this I mean that either they become the “always working” parents or the “count it” parents. Sure, there is a middle ground of parents who have found themselves building life on the balancing needle of the extremes, but right now they are not the focus.

So which parent are you? Are you the “always working” parent trying to ensure your children “will never have to” go through struggles like you did growing up? If so, are you also providing all their wants, in addition to their needs and doing everything for your children to the point where they have no home skills? What would they do on the day you have a cold and can hardly make it out of bed? Or do you still drag yourself out of bed sick and all to ensure a smooth running household? Could your children survive the day if you, for whatever reason, failed to wear your super-parent cape and rush in to the rescue? Is this you?

Well, if not, then are you the “count it” parent who cannot even give your child a present without informing him or her that it cost $2.99 (insert the value) at Walmart (insert store name)? You see, while you are counting it all up and thinking you’re teaching your child to value what he or she has, you may be fueling his or her wish to grow up and ensure that they never have to look too carefully at prices. There might also be the wish to work hard so that their child never has to endure what they went through or even to be like you.

You think I’m being too harsh? Don’t walk away. I’m not playing a blame game or just being a critic. I’m here asking you to think about what you are doing while you are here giving parenting your best. You see, one day your children will grow up and be adults themselves. Will they have to be dependent on others to wash, cook and clean for them because they don’t know the first thing about even boiling water because you always did everything for them? (Think on the fact that one day they may be parents too or spouses and will need to help in the house or teach these skills – that they never learned – to their children.) Or are your children going to have these home skills but be bitter towards you for not providing an enjoyable childhood with lots of opportunities?

Go ahead. Ask me if I’m even a parent. Do I need to be one to have this conversation with you? Does your dentist need to be a recipient of tooth fillings before he should be allowed to conduct this procedure on others? My point is that, what you are doing in the way you are parenting will not only affect your children but will impact those they have relationships with and their own brand of parenting also. You know how your experiences affected your life so stop a minute and think of the impact your side of the extreme will have on your children.

Signed,

A Concerned Observer

P.s., we can talk more about this if you’d like.