A word for others who are like I was

I’ve thought about writing these past weeks but each time my stories would have drawn attention to someone else and contain details that were too personal. Apart from that, I had my excuses like, well I have nothing interesting to write about, or I always am writing about life on this mountain top, or I probably should just stop writing. Well I’m back today and not because I’ve found something interesting or because it has nothing to do with my mountain top life, and not to announce that I’m giving up writing either.

Simply, I’m here to offer a simple word of encouragement to anyone who may take the time to read this. It’s for you as well as for myself as I need to get better at taking my own medicine, not just giving it out.

In life, there are some things that we are not happy with. Think about them and if you can change them, if they are necessary to be changed and the reasons and motives are right, then change them.

Some things are best left alone. You can live with them. They can help you be better.

Each day, show gratitude for what you have. Part of that is to smile, slow down, be aware of your present moment. Remember to take care of your health!! You have only one you. Sure, these days there are surgeries to replace parts, provide transplants, give tucks and reshape areas and all sorts of things. (If you’re already ill, this is not aimed at you but instead at the healthy with a don’t care kind of attitude.) Wouldn’t it be better for you to just live healthily now than plan for adjustments later?

Respect the you that you live in.

Mountain Dreams

I keep thinking it would be good to share with you some parallels between actual mountain climbing and climbing your way to your dreams. See, this week, a little mountain taught me some lessons. It wasn’t really little, even though it has that word in its name. Before I share the lessons let me be honest that I was hesitating all week about going but I went because I need to get out more and the fresh air is always good. It has been raining every day up on the mountains but that day would only be cloudy and the rains would continue the following day.

Lesson one would be to plan ahead. While I was deciding to go or not to go, I still got ready. I had an idea of what to wear, where we were going and the things for my first aid kit. My other debate was on which shoes to wear as I don’t have proper hiking boots and I’m still nursing a slight toe injury. On the morning, I communicated with the friend who suggested the hike and got to the meeting place on time for our drive. Even when we arrived at the car park I knew I was not feeling this hike but I put doubts and fears aside because this mountain needed to be climbed.

In life, sometimes we don’t know what our dreams should be or which one to work on. We know to dream but not necessarily how to plan the steps for achieving the dream. Sometimes the dream seems so big or there are fears and doubts that try to make us give up the dream before it has a chance to see some daylight or get some fresh air and life breathe in to it. At times it may be that others around you may not see the dream or have never risen that far so there is no one to guide you. Just be careful who you share your dream with, at what stage you share it, and how to nurture it so it doesn’t die when it should have lived.

So friends, there I was walking among all this greenery, hearing the sounds of birds high above me and water gently flowing nearby. I took literally ten steps and I was already breathless. No joke. My heart was racing. I was tired. After resting a few minutes I continued along. The organizer of the trip was way more fit and just stepping along up the incline, over fallen trees, jumping across small streams, and bubbling with effervescence. Not wanting to tamper her joy I asked her kindly to go on ahead. The other hiker refused to leave me behind citing a rule of her Girls Guide club from her childhood days which forbade her to leave the slowest person behind.

And herein lies lesson two: face the truth and own it. Was I hurt when she told me the rule? I felt it coming on but I chose to admit I was the slowest but instead focus on the fact that she was not leaving me. Any hurt I felt I decided to turn it into energy and see if I could move any faster or stop less times so she could also enjoy the hike. This lesson fits with our dreams as well because sometimes in the way to enjoying the dream there will be persons and situations that slow us down. The dream may need to go on hold a little for us to face, admit and deal with certain things before we can successfully move forward. Remember, it’s not very practical to be going uphill and at the same time be pulling a whole load of hurt, resentment and baggage along. Let it go.

Friends, I got the the mountain top at least three times but then noticed it was only the top of a part of the mountain not the actual top. At one point the place was so narrow they tied ropes on either side to help you along. I sore it was the top and even made a video for my friends back home about having gotten to the top. After this top there was a bit of a slope going down but behind those shrubs, and through the mist on the other side, the climb started again. The lesson here is, try not to be distracted with what looks like the fulfillment of the dream. Also, celebrate the milestones along the way so when you’re tired the flat places don’t mislead you to thinking you’ve reached the top.

The rest of the story is that we turned back about half hour from the top. My feet were dying on the way down so much so I thought I’d probably lose my nails. I figured if I put my gloves in my shoes then my feet would have less place to be dancing in the shoes and could have more protection. I tried positive thoughts, gratitude, enjoying the scenery, and thinking how fast we were descending. When I finally saw the car park, I cannot tell you how happy I was. Maybe hiking isn’t one of my hobbies anymore but it sure taught me a few lessons. Unlike me with my mountain climbing, if you’re working on a dream, don’t quit or stifle your dream. Work on it, you’ll be happy you did.

Learning from others and my advice to you

All around us each day people are busy working away. There are dreams to be fulfilled, money to be made for the bills and general living or for retirement. We see social media or the tv showing us the “good life” and the things that make it seem we’ve arrived, we’ve made it (wherever and whatever that means to you). There are endless videos of young people trekking off around the world, or others living lives we can only admire from afar since our budgets and circumstances or future plans would not allow us following suit. At the end of the long work day, we get to go home, do more work before crawling tired in to bed to get up next morning to the same things.

I’m sure I’ve made that sound badly and like two different worlds. My life as it is right now is fine. Yes, there are some things I’m hoping will be different and better so I’m working on them – little by little and staying motivated. So what am I on about then? I’ve recently been talking with others and hearing about plans for the future, present circumstances, and missed opportunities in the past.

Planning for the future is great! Be as realistic as possible but still dream big. Today your situation may look one way causing you to think about the future through a particular set of lenses but remember never to doubt yourself. The energy you project into your day, your future or your relationships is important and impacts what you receive. Whether you believe in God, the Universe, Love or whatever name you call your higher power, know that you are loved, special, and there are great plans for your life.

In my talks recently, missed opportunities was a big topic. I too have had this conversation- with myself. I then wrote out some of the opportunities that came my way that I did not make full or good use of over the course of my life. In psychology they explain that this evaluation of life happens in the older years and that if life was happy and well spent then people are happy to continue on and share their wisdom with others. If the opposite happened then they are likely to experience despair.

The fact that this evaluation of life is happening at younger ages is amazing to me. We are still in the stages of life where jobs can be changed, new or further studies undertaken, countries changed, or relationships fostered. Sure, the resources to make the necessary changes may not all be available and dreams may have to go on hold, but my point is that changes can still be made. An older person I spoke with explained that one of the challenges associated with the desire to change right now is age. There is a whole process when you are over a certain age and close to retirement.

My advice to everyone (I’m aware you didn’t ask, but here goes anyway) is to have a sit down with yourself. Divide a sheet of paper into four or use four sheets. Write out the plans for the future, present situation including things you think are positive and negative, missed opportunities of the past, and finally, which opportunities you wish you had or could have again. From the present, pause and be thankful for all you have. The good things will make you better and the negative things can be learned from. Express gratitude for the opportunities you’ve had regardless of how they were used. Then connect your future list and the opportunities hoped for lists. Write out small steps you can take to revisit and achieve or fulfill those things.

Be patient with yourself. And be kind. It’s a process! My friend once told me, had someone asked you to give or do something for them you would, so think about yourself and do the same. Lisa Nichols shared recently in her video How to Not Lose One’s Self in Relationships, that people will only love you to the degree that they love themselves. So then, best wishes on your journey and talk with you soon.

Dear Future Me, …

It’s April 26th, 2019. I hope you’re doing well as you read this, not just well as in your physical health, but also your spiritual and emotional health. If you’re not well in all those areas then girl, no shame or judgment here, but take a break and work on you. It’s important that you’re doing fine and not just “ok”. We’ve talked about this already so you know my stance on “ok”. I also hope you’ve grown much more and have learned about who you truly are.

Future Me, are you all right? Have you decided what whole looks like? Have you found some examples of whole you can learn from? I really hope so. If not, then at least I hope you’ve continued to read and watch videos that are motivational and that can help you be your best you. Tell me girl, what does your life look like now. How does it compare to the day I wrote this? Are you still procrastinating? I know you can work under pressure and produce really good results comparable to or even better than had you done the tasks ahead of time. But you know that the goal is to see if you can keep your joy since apparently procrastination steals joy.

Me, I hope you’re doing well in your job and have been learning to maintain that stability you were after. How are your savings looking and what about your financial management skills? Lisa Nichols was saying making money is different from keeping it and growing it. Something like that but in essence it was that you need different skills for each part. Let me ask you this while we’re talking money, how are your hands? Have you been helping others? When was the last time you did something special for yourself?

Me, do you remember how you wanted to travel a bit? Have you? I know you’ve been putting a few things off because you were thinking it’d be better to go or do them with someone else. True, some trips and other things are more enjoyable with others than solo but please don’t deprive yourself of the chances and opportunities simply out of fear. You are brave, talented, beautiful and loved. Sure you’re different and you do silly things sometimes and shy away from certain opportunities but I know you have a good heart and you do make an effort.

I’m proud of you girl. I’m happy for who you are today as you reflect a bit on your life and who you have become when you next read this. Girl, you’ve known for a while that you’re special and was made for greatness. Lisa Nichols reminded you of that today. You are blessed. God has great plans for your life so stop second guessing yourself. Please remember to forgive yourself for each time you fail to be your true you, engaged in self-sabotage, do something stupid, or simply miss the mark. Remember it’s not so much about what others think of you but more about what you think of you, what God thinks of you. He has great thoughts about you. You’re not a mistake or a surprise to Him. You’re His special little girl.

Continue to pray and seek God and let Him lead you. Baby girl, trust the process. Don’t hide from your purpose. I know I don’t say it a lot because I still have to work on it, but baby girl, I love you, always have and always will. Take care of yourself. Enjoy the adventures of life. Don’t shy away because the road looks scary. Mistakes are fine so long as that’s what they were. Live a little, laugh a lot, learn the lessons, share the blessings, find your you.

Later Chile

… And a time to share

I have often heard the saying that it’s not always what we say but how we say it that matters. This can be so true and I’ve learned part of that by some of my own life experiences. Sometimes it’s challenging to remember that in the heat of the moment or when you’re relaxed and just chilling with friends and have your guard down. Other times it might not be information that you can share or feel comfortable sharing that is being required of you and you have to think quickly about what to share, how much and in what tone.

This last part has been my concern lately. I am trying to be mindful of what I share, when, with whom, where and so on. It turns out that sometimes my mouth gets to flying as if it has a mind of its own and by the time my brain catches up it’s already too late. Thankfully, it has been nothing really important and it was only about my own business. I almost had to give information on something I’m planning but got saved because rather than waiting on my answer a second question was asked and so I made a choice which of the questions to answer.

What I say has also been a concern because there are times when not everything can be repeated or shared with just anyone. Certain dreams and goals have to be nurtured and kept safe from prying eyes and inquisitive ears. They have to be kept safe so you don’t get overwhelmed by other people’s comments and ideas or discouraged by other people’s thoughts and feelings about your abilities, timing, jealousy, or their insecurities. But in the meantime, while your dreams are covered in the soil, being watered and hoped on, if you don’t see growth and if you can’t talk to someone about it, it can all feel isolating and a bit much.

Deciding what to share, when, with whom and the reason for sharing can really make a difference in how we see things and what happens in life. Sure we all need people in our lives but balance and proper caution are necessary. There will be hiccups and other people may question your level of trust in them but at the end of the day it’s your call. Know the value of your dream and that it may cost you a lot. There may be different routes to get there but don’t let it be that your own actions or inactions aborted your own dream. Believe. Work hard and smart towards it, treasure and protect it and stick with it until it becomes a reality.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12

Going to live abroad? – Before you do…

Recently, I wrote about some job opportunities abroad. Whether you read my post or you found information elsewhere and will be going to work or even study abroad, preparation is key. While I can understand the feelings of nervous excitement about such an undertaking and all the benefits of independence, self-growth and adventure, I urge you to pause a bit. During this pause, I would like to share some of my ideas on things I believe are important when living abroad that should be worked on before setting out.

I have often mentioned research. Today, I’m saying research the culture. Find out what percentage of the population share the same religion and ethnicity as you and if you’ll be able to find churches (places of worship in your religion) or people that look like you in your new city. It’s important to have ideas of how you will be able to maintain your spiritual health when away from your own culture and usual setting. Similarly, think about whether you will be comfortable being the only one in your new town that looks like you. If there are not many people in your city or town from your part of the world, depending on where you are, here are some things to consider.

Can you make your favorite meals? Will the necessary ingredients or good substitutes be easy to find at reasonable prices? Chances are you’ll have no problem if the cultures are similar, if there are many people from your culture living there, or if your country is close in proximity or ties to where you’re going. If you have doubts at all or if you aren’t familiar with the kitchen, please learn to cook at least three easy dishes before you leave home. Having your favorite meals can help when you start missing home.

Another thing, but which is only applicable to some people, surrounds the matter of your hair. Yes, I’m being serious. Think about the products and brands you use at home. Will you be able to get these easily in your new country? If you’re into hair extensions, relaxers, weaves etc, depending on your new location, these may either be super expensive or nonexistent. Learning to do simple styles with your hair before you leave home may be a good idea. Consider also that lotions, moisturizers, shades of certain makeup products and other personal care products may not be readily available in your brands. Switching to those in your new country, online shopping or asking your family to send you things may be your options around this issue.

A further suggestion would be to check luggage restrictions and also prohibited items. Pack supplies to last about two or three months. This will allow time for you to explore and find either the same brands or similar ones. As for clothes and shoes, try not to take the whole wardrobe with you. After all, there’ll be stores where you’re going and you’ll acquire things while you’re there. Think about shipping certain items also. If you take certain medications make sure to pack both the supplies you have and your prescriptions. Don’t forget your documents and an empty lightweight bag – just in case you need to move around some of your luggage during transit.

All the best in your decision making. If you’re traveling through different airports, make sure you have the correct documents to transit and try to be on time for your flight. Have an open mind and don’t burn the bridges behind you.

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Possible Job Opportunities Abroad

Recently, I read a blog post from a young lady who had sent out a couple hundred copies of her resume but had not received a job. It was a story that had many people sharing ideas of what she could do, where she could possibly apply and motivation to keep trying. I also added a few suggestions. Yesterday I was wondering how many people would see the job options mentioned in that post and I thought I’d write a bit more on the opportunities I had mentioned there in the hope that someone who needs it will read this or someone will share it with a friend who could benefit. While I did some research on these opportunities, please ensure that you also do some research to determine if any one of the opportunities mentioned is right for you.

A great opportunity to teach English abroad is the JET Program. It’s the Japan Exchange and Teaching Program which is an agreement between the governments of Japan and some English-speaking countries to allow qualified persons from those countries to help teach English in Japan. The application period is open once each year and applicants need to have a Bachelors degree. It’s very competitive for the opportunities it provides as well as the benefits such as paid airfare from your country to Japan and a return fare at the end if you meet the requirements. Participants are only allowed a maximum of five years on this Program but it’s not unheard of for persons to find other jobs in Japan rather than returning home.

Other programs for Japan include: Interac, Borderlink, Gaba, JOYTALK, and Aeon. Some of these programs have better reviews than others so research the options for the best one for you. If you are in Japan already, sites like Gaijinpot or JobsinJapan usually have many job offerings – not just in education. While there may be jobs on these sites for persons overseas, it appears there are far more offerings for persons already in Japan. Some persons have gone the route of going to Japan for university or on a tourist visa then trying to find a job once they have arrived.

If you are more interested in other countries, there are many other programs out there. For instance, a program for teaching English in Chile is TeachinChile and there’s a government program in France called CIEP. There are other broad programs which cater to many countries such as TeachAway which offers jobs with various programs in about 60 different countries. Another way to teach English abroad is to complete a TEFL or CELTA course with a registered institution that then offers job placements abroad on completion of the course. Whichever option you go with, do your research and then research some more. Best wishes!